I’m feeling really torn.
I left a role-playing group last year, and I can’t stop checking up on the wikia. I was active for over a year, and because I joined during my transition into online schooling they ended up being my only friends. Even though some people insulted me, ignored me, or even tried to have sex with me, most everyone was super nice. I ended up being close with everyone (save for some unsavory individuals.)
I started finding other websites and my time with the group decreased a lot. Until I decided to leave officially, through telling everyone in chat. A lot of people told me that I shouldn’t, and some people who I had thought were really close with me just said “Whatever.”
I ended up leaving and moving to tumblr… except, I didn’t make any friends. And now I still don’t have anyone. After realizing that I was getting nowhere fast, I looked at the wiki. New people were coming in, new groups were being made, and my character’s page sat unedited and dusty in the nook of the site.
And now, I’m feeling really obsessive. I feel worried for all the people that I know are neglected or abused. I feel alone. And most of all, I feel like I want to go back. Even though I know I’ll probably get shit for saying that I was leaving and then coming back. Even though I know that there’s toxic people in there who like to vent by attacking other members. Even though I know I’ll fall back into being a weeaboo and being painfully immature. Even though I know I’ll probably work up the courage to go in and then be faced with “Who are you again?”
I just want to detach myself, and you’d think that a year of being away would do the trick. But it didn’t.
This took me awhile to think about, and I’d like to apologize, first. Second, about your friends - well, it looks like you found out who your real friends are/were. Sometime, people just need a break from what they’ve been doing. If you want to get back into roleplaying, go back. If you get shit for it, tell them you needed a break to sort things out. If they can’t accept that, then you can make more friends.
People are finicky. Friends that last are difficult to make and all you can do is try.
And the “weeaboo” thing - it’s been a year. You appear to have detached yourself a bit anyway, even if you don’t feel like you did. You go find those people who may be feeling neglected/abused. You find them and you tell them it’s gonna be alright. You find them and make friends with them, because they need you, and you may need them.
You can always come to any of us if you just want to talk or if you want to make friends. We’re here for you, and we hope you know that.